I do not want to come across
as the disgruntled daughter-in-law.
But I don't think that what we are experiencing
is the usual disruption.
We are truly concerned for Sunil's well-being.
We brought him over from Calcutta
shortly after my mother passed.
Julia mentioned that she felt
that your grandchildren were afraid of you.
Do you think there's any truth in that assertion?
What did he say?
He said she's afraid of herself.
I would like to help you
in any way that I can.
Perhaps you could write me a prescription
that would allow me to return to India,
where my wife would be alive.
That's what I did, Kate.
It's not...
It's not a bloody penitentiary.
I happen to be lucky enough
To live near
a half-decent school.
No,
not just half-decent...
Sought-after.
Mm-hmm, but, Kate,
He doesn't want to go to private school.
I'll tell you why.
Because I'm his father.
Okay, Kate I've got to go.
I've got a patient waiting for me...
A patient, okay?
I'll call you back. I don't know.
Mr. Sanyal.
I thought patients belonged in the hospital.
You heard me?
I could not help.
Was I that loud?
Perhaps a little.
Well, technically you are my patient,
But I'll try to refrain
from that particular term
If it makes you feel more comfortable.
Shall we?
Yes. Oh.
Did this happen on the train?
I have to travel only three stops,
But I guess this is what happens in America.
You're okay?
I'll survive, Dr. Weston.
It is only mountain dew.
And did these kids... did they...
Did they apologize to you?
I do not think they noticed.
That's a lot of soda not to notice.
Did you say anything to them?
What good that would do?
Besides, they cannot hear anyway.
They are all wearing little headphones.
You're very forgiving.
I'm sorry
about your train ride.
Well, I'm glad that you're here.
Can I ask you how...
How things are at home?
They begged me to take a shower.
Your son and your daughter-in-law?
All four of them knocked on my door this morning.
They made Naya ask me.
She says, "grandpa,
please take a shower."
So how did that make you feel...
Being asked to bathe by your granddaughter?
I must admit I was starting to smell like a goat.
So they got your notebook as well?
Yeah, I was using it on the train, so...
It's not so wet.
Is that Kamala... your wife?
Yeah.
May I?
She's beautiful.
Is...
was this
on your wedding day?
Just after the ceremony.
Are you...
Are you okay, Mr. Sanyal?
I am only tired.
Recently I have not been sleeping so well.
I wake with...
With... with an ache.
What kind of ache?
I suppose it is this ailment
That my son hopes you will relieve me of.
You and I will speak and my pain will heal
Like a fractured bone.
I wish it was that simple.
If it's any comfort to you,
I agree with what you said
at our last session.
I don't think that grief has any schedule.
And I have no desire
To speed up
your grieving process.
You are not married?
What makes you ask that?
Last time when I asked, you said,
"no, I don't
have a wife."
That's true. Yes, I did.
Are we playing a logic game?
You are also a widower then?
Forgive me.
You know, where I'm from,
When we want to talk,
We meet a friend for tea.
And then one person speaks and then the other.
It is very strange to be expected
To do all the talking continuously, you know.
I understand, but... but this is...
This is what therapy is.
It's... it's... it's...
Well, it's not exactly the same
As meeting a friend for tea.
You said last week we could simply have a conversation.
That's true. I did say that.
And during the conversation
You scarcely said a word.
I am expected to disclose the details of my life,
To speak about my wife,
About my pain, about...
Or share her photograph or, you know...
I did have a wife.
But...
We're divorced now.
How long 21 years. Were you married?
Do you miss her?
Sometimes I...
Yes, I do.
In Hinduism, when...
When the wife dies before the husband,
Before she is cremated,
She is dressed in her red bridal clothes.
And now when I see her wedding photo
I think of her funeral.
She used to tease me
That in our wedding photo I look like
I'm entering into a pool
Containing a giant octopus.
We were both still very young.
And like most brahmin marriages,
It was arranged.
I'd just graduated from the university.
She and her family came over to our home.
There was a short interview
Which lasted perhaps two hours.
And our parents decided
That we were to be married shortly after that.
This was going to be my future.
And when your future walks into the room
And sits beside you on the carpet,
It could be, you know,
Quite disconcerting.
These things work differently in America.
Yes, they are different, yes.
But whether they work is another question.
In some ways
An arranged marriage seems like it might be simpler.
I would say for us it was fine.
Only... only fine?
Fine... fine is good.
Yeah, perhaps...
Perhaps she was my closest friend.
How often do you find yourself
Thinking about Kamala?
Many many times each day.
I often think of her when I see Julia.
So...
So when you see Julia,
You're reminded of... of your wife?
Of the differences between them.
It's...
it's impossible not to.
Look, Kamala would not have approved
Of the way Julia is raising our grandchildren.
What do you mean? Why wouldn't she approve?
She might think that they're spoiled,
That there's too little discipline.
She might think the minute they don't get what they want
They scream, they throw tantrums.
And do you think that's true?
Our son was raised differently.
Kamala taught him
Good manners, humility,
Because it was important to her.
And it sounds like it's important to you.
Would you say that's true?
Can I ask you
What else is in your notebook?
Many things.
Sometimes
I write to Kamala too.
In your notebook?
Yeah, very simple things.
Yes, like what?
Like...
Like "hello,
Good morning, good night,"
Or "the sun is very hot today,"
Or "the birds are too loud for sleeping."
Yes.
Things like this.
Have you ever written to her about your grandchildren?
I tell her that she would be
Quite fond of them.
Do you share your concerns with Kamala
About how Julia
Is raising your grandchildren?
So can I smoke?
Yeah, sure. You can smoke, yes.
Dr. Weston, please call me Sunil.
Okay.
And you must call me Paul.
Mm-hmm, Paul.
You know what happened this morning?
A plumber came
to fix my shower,
So I had to use Arun and Julia's bathroom.
As I was coming out of the shower...
Julia came in.
I had the towel wrapped around my waist.
She entered just as I was putting
A small piece of soap in a dish
On top of the toilet tank...
A little purple soap goose
That smelled of lavender.
She was preparing to take the shower too.
So she was also in her towel?
She very quickly covered herself with her towel, yes.
She froze.
She obviously forgot about the plumber.
And what happened?
I said, "excuse me"
And then went up to my room to get dressed.
10 minutes later she knocked on my door.
What did she say?
She became very angry.
She spoke to me as if I'm a child...
Because of soap.
Well, she'd just been confronted by the fact
That you're not a child at all.
She may have been covering for other feelings
That she had from seeing you in this way.
What feelings?
My daughter-in-law is not
A modest woman, I assure you.
She still showers with Sam even though he's nearly six.
For her it's perfectly appropriate.
But not to you.
You are the expert. Please tell me.
Where was your son when all of this happened?
He had already left for work.
Sunil, when Julia was here last week,
She mentioned feeling
Uncomfortable at times
Because of the way that you look at her.
Would you say that this encounter
In the bathroom
Might have been one of those moments?
We were both in our towels, Paul.
And I said,
"excuse me."
And I went out.
Yes, I understand that.
What I'm asking is...
Can you say a bit more
about how you felt
When your daughter-in-law surprised you?
I would say I felt surprised.
Yes, but what else?
I said to myself,
"see, here's your daughter-in-law,
And she is wearing a towel."
I don't understand the rules of this house.
My son and Julia are very different people.
I used to believe
That these differences were what drew him to her,
Beyond her yellow shining hair.
And you don't think that anymore?
Now the differences are less and less.
He has become more like her,
As if under a spell.
I wonder how he feels not being
The master of his own house.
That's how you see... you see Arun?
He prepares her cappuccino for her every morning,
And precisely as she wishes too...
With just the right amount of steamed skim milk
And one cube of organic brown sugar.
He puts the dishes away in the cupboard,
Gives the children their evening bath
So that she can read in her study.
Maybe your son enjoys these activities...
That he makes Julia her cappuccino in the morning
And puts the dishes away because...
Because he wants to.
I'm not...
I'm not for a moment dismissing your concerns.
I think you have very legitimate concerns.
But I do think it's possible
They may be yours more than his.
You're dealing with
very real frustrations,
Yet most of your complaints
Your son must be unhappy;
Your grandchildren's upbringing would disappoint Kamala;
Kamala would disapprove of Julia.
I guess I'm beginning to wonder
If you have trouble voicing
Grievances of your own.
The fact of the matter is that you're the one
Who feels stuck in your son's house,
Who's been cloistered away upstairs with the kids.
They knocked on your door this morning
To make a collective request about your hygiene.
Julia polices the way you handle the objects in her bathroom.
You don't have the power to smoke where or when you want.
You have a right to be angry.
And it's becoming clear to me
That on some level you are.
So I'm just thinking it might be helpful
To everybody, but mostly for you
If you could begin to express that anger
More directly,
try to put it into...
Try to put it into words.
I'm beginning to regret
That I requested you to speak more.
This is not quite what I'd meant
By balanced conversation.
I know. You'd rather meet a friend for tea.
Tea is terrible in New York.
You disagree?
Oh no, I don't.
You're Irish. You must enjoy tea.
Yes, I do.
So maybe you can tell me what is wrong with Americans.
In India we drink hot tea.
Here it is often
no warmer than dishwater.
That's true.
See?
There, I was expressing my frustration.
How did I do?
It's a good start.
See, there was one occasion
When I spoke openly to Arun,
When I presented my displeasure.
And when was that?
Many years ago, when he and
Julia were first engaged.
We had never met Julia.
So they came to Calcutta
to tell us the good news.
You didn't see it that way?
At first I did. Arun seemed so happy,
Like a small child handed a special dessert,
Barely able to breathe.
I must admit I was pleased
For Arun to receive so much attention,
Much more than we were used to seeing...
Like holding hands, sitting very close.
She...
she even curled his
hair behind his ear, eh?
In our presence.
I thought Kamala was going to faint.
And how did things go between Kamala and Julia?
Very bad.
Mm-hmm.
Toward the end of dinner Julia expressed her disappointment
That we would not allow her to stay at our home.
So where was she staying?
In a hotel.
And where was Arun?
He stayed with us, in his old room.
You must understand
It's not acceptable
For a couple to sleep
In the House of the parents before they are married.
So during dinner it was clear
She wanted Arun to discuss
these matters with us.
So when Arun could not
bring himself to do it,
She proceeded to do so herself.
She said they had traveled such a far distance
And they are very tired
And they wished not to be separated.
Arun was so embarrassed,
He could not even look at his mother and me.
How did you and your wife respond to that?
After Arun left to escort
Julia back to her hotel,
Kamala was so angry,
She could not speak
for more than one hour.
Then she pleaded with me to speak to Arun.
So the next night, I sat in the kitchen with Arun
And asked him whether he...
Whether he was sure about his decision to marry.
What did he say?
He lashed out at me.
He said we did not
approve of Julia
Because... because she's not Bengali.
And he said I could not relate to his life
And I married a woman I did not love
And I... I chose duty over passion
And... and...
And I'm jealous.
So they cut their visit short by three days
And left to America the following morning.
So do you think there was any truth in what Arun said?
That I do not know passion?
He also said that you were jealous.
Perhaps I did not marry
For the same reasons as my son,
But I came to love my wife.
Did you ever wish for something more in life?
Do you wish for something more?
After that,
Things were different with Arun.
When Samuel was born we came to New York,
And again after Naya.
But it was never the same.
Did Arun ever come back to Calcutta to visit?
Only once,
When his mother was in serious decline,
Just two days before she passed.
That must have been another difficult visit.
What were you just thinking?
On this same visit my son
made his promise to Kamala.
That he would bring you back to New York.
Yes, she told him that I was not capable of living on my own
And he must take care of me always.
These were the last words she spoke.
And so here you are.
Here I am.
Do you wish you had stayed in Calcutta?
See, it is the way we do things, Paul...
The children care for their parents.
Do you think about going back?
It's not possible.
Why not?
I have no money, Paul.
Although I should have,
but I do not.
Can I ask you why not?
See, much of my earnings went toward paying
For Arun's American education.
And what was left was spent
On Kamala's medical bills.
So...
There is nothing to be done.
You seem resigned.
Have you and your son ever discussed
The fight that you had on that first visit?
We have never spoken of it...
Never.
I'm...
I'm afraid
our time is up, Sunil.
Oh, I'm supposed to leave?
I have another patient,
But we can pick up here the next week.
Okay okay.
If I'm going to walk,
How do I get to prospect park?
Prospect park? That's easy.
You go out, you turn left,
Pass the coffee shop on the corner,
Across the main drag. Once you...
I'll find it. I'll find it.
No problem.
Okay.
No problem.
Uh, you're not going to
take the train?
No train.
Sunil, those kids...
You know, they're not on every train.
I know.
Well, the exercise will be good for me.
So you know where you're going? Just turn left on Atlantic and...
I'm fine. I'm fine.